BlackDistraction's Lair

asheathes:

WIZARDING SCHOOLS AROUND THE WORLD: INDIA

India’s Academy of Sorcery boasts an impressive display of flashy colours, from enchanted saris that shift colours sporadically throughout the day, to the lavishly painted exterior of the academy which is situated in a nondescript location along Ganges River. Due to the frightening rate at which the school’s ancient mango tree (jokingly nicknamed “Mammoth Mango Machine”) produces mangoes, students have to endure the perpetually evolving art of mango cuisine at least five days a week. Every year, to the students’ great enjoyment, classes are halted for Diwali to make time for various competitions that take place: firework flourishes and charms for upper-year students (bonus points if it doesn’t set any part of the school on fire), and lantern designing for lower-year students (use of animals, alive or dead, is forbidden).
You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.

Unknown English Teacher (via memewhore)

How can we start a retirement plan

(via lacostume)

tittily:

my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’

moofrog:

herpyderpyhurhur:

abathingegg:

cowboybop-it:

Hayao Miyazaki makes ramen at Studio Ghibli

This is truly beautiful.

i wanna work in a place like that.

"A crisis is about to happen" omg this man is amazing

neatvibes:

most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later

ripopentheuniverse:

"Look what I found. Can we keep it? Please?"

ripopentheuniverse:

"Look what I found. Can we keep it? Please?"

earth-song:

Rare golden tabby tiger 

reptiliaherps:

earthandanimals:

sizvideos:

Video

It’s Mama swan protecting her baby! She doesn’t know the guy is just trying to help.. but then she’s like “Oh.. my bad. Thanks!!”

This is so heartwarming

ofallcuteandsexy:

achronicmasturbator:

teamcocket:

what the fuck is this

dont kermit suicide

i need a moment

ofallcuteandsexy:

achronicmasturbator:

teamcocket:

what the fuck is this

dont kermit suicide

i need a moment

weeaboo-chan:

big sea friend